More than a decade and two kids later, I thought it would be fun and educational to visit the GP for an old-fashioned physical. I thought there might be some interest in the blood work and stats of someone who has been a die-hard clean-celled enthusiast for this long of a period and at this stage of life. I realized I didn’t have a doctor, so I called my husband’s doctor’s office and was promptly given an appointment that very afternoon.
I hadn’t seen a doctor since my OB/GYN when I was pregnant with my daughter–eleven years ago! I used midwives with my son and haven’t been sick or otherwise in need of a doctor. I should note that before I learned about deep-tissue cleansing I was chronically sick with bronchial, ear, nose, and throat infections and UTIs, which sent me into the doctor’s office constantly for antibiotics. (I was even given steroids once because my chest was so inflamed that my painful coughs sounded like barks!) But since transforming my regimen, I stopped suffering from these symptoms.
It is absolutely clear to me that my body has only strengthened over the years–and I now feel the best I have ever felt in my life. Still, I thought it would be interesting to have a full checkup and have my blood work done, if only to document it.
After filling out all the paperwork, I filled four vials’ worth of blood, and then the doctor called me into his chambers.
Dr. Bromstein was sweet-natured and generous with his time. I deliberately chose a totally mainstream Upper East Side doctor. Even though there are several alternative-medical doctors in my area, I wanted this visit to be unquestionably medical-based, without any alternative influences. It turned out that Dr. Bromstein was familiar with detoxification; his associate physician was doing a cleanse. My doctor was very interested to know more about my regimen, yet he was also very quick to point out, “You know there is no medical proof to support colonics, right?” “Yes,” I assured him respectfully. I was aware that was the case.
As many of you know, my regimen is pretty radical: I have approximately 32 ounces of organic green vegetable juice every afternoon (nothing but water or herbal tea before) before my one meal a day (dinner), which consists mainly of raw vegetables, with the addition of cooked vegetables and/or raw goat cheese as desired. Otherwise, it’s an all-fruit meal. With only the very rare exception, my intake is virtually free of grains, nuts, soy, red meat, and chicken. I do occasionally enjoy a bit of fish because I love fish, not for the protein or omega content. I take absolutely NO supplements, NO medications, and NO recreational drugs (well, with the exception of the occasional glass of wine). Finally, I have also received at least several hundred colonics over the last decade (despite there being no medical evidence of their health benefits).
I know this way of living may sound insane to the uninitiated. I can appreciate that, and I’ll freely add that I am a self-declared extremist. However, in the interest of full disclosure, which is what this work is all about, I think it is important to lay everything out on the table (so to speak) to best contextualize this little field trip.
After the initial small talk, Dr. Bromstein launched our session with a battery of questions about my health, inquiring about symptoms, family history, traumatic events, operations, and so on. My answers: no symptoms, mixed family health history, a few traumatic events, and one major operation when I was four. Then, after reprimanding me for not wearing seat belts in cabs (duly noted and appreciated), I put on a pink robe and we moved into the examination room. Dr. Bromstein checked my pulse, blood pressure, heart (including EKG), lungs, ears, reflexes, and midsection, then weighed and measured me and said I could get dressed. Everything looked great, he said. I would just have to leave a urine sample and then I could go. My blood work would take a week. I thanked the good doctor and went home.
A week later, his assistant left me the blood results by phone, which I’ll share with you in full now: Bood sugar, normal. Liver and kidney function, normal. Urine, normal. And here come the flashing lights: I GREW a ¼ of an inch! Humans do not grow in their 30s; they begin the shrinking process that turns us from Amazons into little old grannies. Best, I am not anemic at all. This is a big one, as I was always anemic in my pre-cleansing days. I consume no iron supplements, and I eat no liver, red meat, or any of the other foods recommended for iron deficiency. I went from being severely and chronically anemic to non-anemic on green juice and apples! I also need to boast another rarity for women of my age in this country: a perfectly functioning thyroid.
My combined cholesterol was a whopping 229*, but the doctor emphasized that there’s no reason to be concerned because my HDL (the good cholesterol), which should be more than 40, was 92. My LDL (the bad cholesterol) was 137 (7 points above 130, which is the number doctors want to keep it below), but again, he told me he was not at all concerned. I can’t figure that one–too much goat cheese? My triglycerides count was 60. Doctors say the healthy range is less than 150. So I’m good there, too.
My vitamin D was slightly low at 37 (they want to see it reach 50), but that’s New York living for you. If only they could check it next month, when I’ll be in the South African sun all day! Am I going to bother with a vitamin D supplement? No way–but don’t tell doc!
So, in short, the good doctor fully supports my regimen. Everything looks great, and I grew a whole ¼ inch! So, I don’t know about you, but I’m going to keep on doing what I’m doing. Next decade, I’ll check in again. Hey, maybe I’ll make it to 5’ 8”!
P.S. I also had a most pleasant visit to the dentist. My teeth and gums are a throwback to the days of my favorite extinct animal, the great saber-toothed tiger! It’s all about alkalinity! If only we could bring back the species!
*I originally published, based on the message left for me by the Dr.s office that the combined choloestrol was 241 but one of my readers pointed out that this number could not be right based on the combined calculations. I checked and indeed, it was indeed the lower 229 number.